Summertime!

The summer is suppose to be a time for family, fun and relaxation. Instead so far this summer has been nothing but a constant reminder of how life is so fragile and no day should be wasted and don't let anyone go without knowing what they mean to you-no matter how small the connection is! Because they could be gone in an instant!

We had a sleep over with the kids friends from Hico and that was fun and went to Fort Worth to spend time with Bryan's mom and went every where but had a blast.

Then we started summer recreation which the kids play basketball, run track, play tennis and physical fitness everyday, and play volleyball. We are also doing lots of swimming.

But soon after that I went to 2 funerals back to back. I lost a friend and that was tough and her memory and kindness and sweet nature will forever be in my heart and I pray her children are kept safe and are reminded daily how much their mommy loved them and how special they are!

Then following that funeral I lost my Great Aunt Dean Harper. Losing her hurts-bad! I miss her and her stories and funny comments. I will miss her hardheaded and strong wisdom. I will miss her hugs and kind words and pretty eyes! She truly will be missed by many and I know she is not hurting anymore and is with her husband and pawpaw and I think that is hard too-she was my link to them-in some sense Dean made it all okay and assured me that they were alive since they did die when I was young but I do remember them but she talked about them and told stories about them and that was nice to hear. She will be greatly missed by many.

Church camp starts soon-and it will be the first year she has not been there in my lifetime so that willbe very weird and hard to cope with.

Here are a few pics of the kids from this summer:

Babies

On March 22, I had a hysterectomy-at first I was quiet excited and thought I was ready. BUT TONIGHT-

as I lay with my lil guy tonight reading him an awesome kid's book- named

"If Animals Kiss Goodnight Like We Kiss Goodnight."

It hit me-never again will I feel a little flutter in my tummy. I will never hear the heartbeat over the ultrasound. I will never teach another little one to speak, walk, or rock one to sleep signing the same lullaby over and over.

Now don't get me wrong I had a tubal when my son was born but sometimes even those aren't real reliable. And it's not that I want any more babies. I have the best of both worlds a little girl and a little man-and I love them more than anything.

I guess its just knowing that part of my life is completely over.

Im am 28- many women my age are just either having their second or third but I sit back and think- now what am I suppose to do?

It brought a lump to my throat as I finished the book-looked at my guy passed snuggled in my arms-Im not sure if he even finished the book. I tried hard to swallow it back and just be thankful for the 2 healthy happy ones I have.

Kathy will be turning 10 soon soo I'm about to have my hands super full. She is so full of life and dreams and hilarious and just thinks that she is queen bee. Shawn is quiet for the most part-an observer in many situations. So I have the best of both worlds.

SO here's to the future- I say bring it on- I think Im ready for the next chapter in this job.

I will miss those first years and the excitement of a little one on the way but now I have to look forward to is school plays, football games, and long talks and laughs that will hurt.

Hollar back soon- Much love,

The Parkers

Hobbies

I love to write as many people know. Writing is a cleansing for me and it is a way to just look at life in a new light and a new perspective.

There is a part of me that would love to see this hobby become more than a hobby. I have been working on a children's book series about a raccoon raised by squirrels. I know I know- seriously raccoons and squirrels. But I love these animals but Im sure many of you are surprised it does not have anything to do with cats or kittens or the feline breed. Hmm that is in the works lol.

I have also just been doing some free writing and some thought provoking writing that is dealing with life decisions as they come and go.

It has been quiet hard for me to keep up with this blog here- at times I forget that I have it. At times, I get so caught up in what is really going on and forget that I have this to write on.

As a mom I just forget everything all together if it does not pertain to the worlds of a 5 year old boy and a 9 year old girl.

As Kat enters in a different stage in her life she is full of intriguing questions and some I would realy like to ignore and just say "go play with the dog and be a kid." But in a world where everything is so in their faces and the information out there anywhere for them to find I cannot always choose the "go be a kid and go play' route.

Shawn is a breath of fresh air at times because he is still so young that he is not thinking on the issues as Kat does. I love that he is so young and innocent in his thinking and find my conversations with him quiet refreshing and fun. The problems are easy to solve most of the time. And at times, Im slapped in the face with our conversations and find the solutions to my own issues in his world.

Bryan and I are at a different place right now and hopefully will one day look back on everything and say "wow-glad that is over." Just unsure about that right now. Just remember for every action is a reaction. And although that reaction may no be what is best- it is the way a person chose to react whether it be out of anger, pain, confusion or bitterness or just out of spite.

Another thing that is happening is SPRING! I love this time a year and then follows my all time favorite time- SUMMER!

I am missing Spring in East Texas though- the smells, the rain, the fireflies, the green grass. Pastures of rolling green and baby horses and calves running and playing.

We are slowly adjusting to where we live now and I am learning my way around the area quiet well although I do get lost I try to not get frustrated and just laugh and embrace it knowing that sooner or later- I will find my way back to where I need to be and head home out of frustration because I didn't find where I am suppose to be so I shall try again another day.

ANYWAYS-that is all for now-hollar back when I can!

Much love and light to you all!

The Parkers

Christmas and Anniversary!

Wow- what a year!
It has been very crazy and eye opening!

The kids had a great Christmas-at mom and dad's this year. Although
keeping them young and innocent is getting harder as they get older. They
are questioning how real Santa is. Christmas is so fun when they are small-
its like if they find out Santa isnt real it wont be near as fun.
I know that they grow and will find out I just want them to wait a lil' longer.

Kathy is 9. Shawn is 5. Bryan is 31 and I well Old enough! Kat will be graduated
in less than 10 years. Its about to be a fast 10 years though. Shawn will be driving in
that amount of time almost.
As for Bryan and I well- we are celebrating 10 years of marriage this month
and its quite scarry. I take a step back and see where we began and started and
its funny that we live in Andrews again-especially now that it has been 10 years.

I would have never thought that what all has happend has happend in that amount of
time but it has and it has made us stronger and made me realize what I can survive.

As of right now the best marriage advice I can give is- take it a day at a time, and when
that seems impossible take it a minute at a time. Dont speak when angry- it doesnt help.
Moments of silence are great to plan what you really mean.

I look back on my wedding day and know how scared I really was. I took a leap-the biggest
jump to date. Many think we married because of the package that was on its way but
that isnt true we were already engaged. We just moved the date up from June to December.

Its funny how time changes people and their dreams so heres to the future whatever it
may bring!

Love ya'll hollar later1 Amber

NOVEMBER 2010

There hasn't been much going on since my last post.

The kids are doing great and making it here and seem to be adjusting well. Shawn seems to be settling finally in class and although he isnt very volcal on what goes on I do hear from others how great he is doing and what a wonderful lil man he is growing into.
Kathy seems to be okay-she is making friends and loving it as far as I can tell. Her report card was great- just one C but it was a high and in Math soo its okay-I can live with that. As long as she is trying and I can see she is.

Thanksgiving came and went and I cannot believe that we have lived here now 5 months. I miss my friends greatly and think of them often. I know that just because I left doesnt mean we cant still talk and hang out but it is hard with me being amom. I just cant pick up and go see them when the day has been bad and enjoy some chocolate with them and hang out and breathe.
But I am thankful for them and know that there will come a time when I can see them again.

Christmas is right around the corner- I hate this time of year. I am not sure why but I just have never been a fan. I find it harder and harder every year to perk up and get a tree and throw decorations on it but I know the kids love it and enjoy it so we do it. It seems that people only focus on what to get or money this time of year or lets be nice just because of Christmas but as soon as it is over that goes out the window.

Bryan and I are getting ready for our 10 year anniversary. This year it comes with a breath of deep relief- it was a tough year and glad to see it go. I am glad to see us hanging on. Take it a day at a time and sometimes even by minutes so that we can remind each other of what it is were doing.

Looking forward to the spring and summer- warmer temperatures and pretty days. It will be nice to be able to not freeze and wear my flipflops without numb toes. I miss my friend the hot sunshine oh and rain where are you will I ever see you again? I remember seeing you all the time but we dont live there anymore- we now live where you hardly ever visit. I do miss you though and cant wait for it to pour here.

Well that is all I know Like I said life is very slow right now which I welome and am comforted by the lack of action around here.

Love ya bunches- hollar later Amber